Monday, April 18, 2011

Unicef and my heart.

I'm always impressed by Unicef's marketing strategy.

Every now and then, at various places, you'll come across Unicef promoters. These are their two key strategies;

1. Clever positioning.

They position themselves such that there is no avenue of escape without going past one of them. I emerged from the train station, and spotted the dreaded Unicef carts. I hung back, looking around for some way to go past unnoticed.

No such luck. I simply had to pass in close proximity to one of them in order to exit the station.

The same goes for supermarkets, malls, and plazas. They congregate inconspicuously near the entrances/exits so you have no choice but to be accosted by one of them.

2. Sexy promoters.

They never employ anybody less than attractive. This makes it very difficult for me, and I suspect for others, to turn them down.

They're just so good looking that you kind of stare... and then they've got you. The moment you make eye-contact, they lock on to you like sharks.

And then they come bounding over, oozing with charm and sex appeal, and you want to leave, but you also kind of don't..

They make small talk, they're very convincing with their heart-felt appeals to your compassion for the children dying of dysentery. You start to think, "Oh, what a lovely, caring, sexy person... *drool*"

Then they ask how old I am, and I sense they're getting to the point.
"I'm twenty-one."
"Oh, really?! You look so young! So do you have a bank account?"

...and there the magic ends.

You see the light leave their eyes, their previously enthusiastic eye-contact slips a bit, the hand that was on your shoulder is quietly removed, and you know you no longer serve a purpose.

Although you suspected it all along, now you know for certain that their interest in you was completely insincere.

They only want you if you have a bank account from which they can siphon off $3 a month.

And it hurts.

So, Unicef, I hope you're happy knowing that you break my heart a little bit every time I interact with you. I hope you're happy. 

1 comment:

  1. Haha, next time people come up to me and I can't avoid them, I might just say I don't have a bank account and cut the hassle :P


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